Between A and B

I can still hear it.

Almost eight years ago, we had one of those moments in class where the teacher would ask us a question that require (a little) critical thinking. The options are just A and B. The rule is, you have to raise your hand when the teacher asks which side you are on. Just like most days, the tally did not match the number of students present. I can’t remember what the question was, but this- I remember vividly.

Our teacher looked uhm… in between disappointed and irritated. She walked slowly, increasing the tension with each step, gave us a thoughtful look, and then dropped this bomb:

“You cannot stay in the middle, it’s dangerous. You’ll get run over.”

I couldn’t remember the discussion that took place afterwards. But I can still feel the impact of those words. I probably only understood half of what it really meant. I was fifteen, my major problems included only getting good grades and beating deadlines, I had too much at hand and I thought that life was a little harsh for the sparse amount of sleep I get.

Little did I know that I was still in the playground area of life.

I didn’t know that after kissing my friends goodbye at school, life would be unforgiving. And the thing is, this is what awaits most of us after school. (Yes, you get an early taste of this if you’re out of school sooner than you should be) There are perks, of course. Lots of perks in fact, too many you’ll get so confused and lost sometimes. The scary part is that you always have to stand up for your actions, you won’t be asked between: A. Be responsible for your deeds or; B. Be free from the consequences. It’s always letter A. Always.

Now I understand why I can’t be in the middle. Aside from being dangerous, it could lead one to stagnation too. You cannot just think all the time. You have to choose and decide every day. You cannot just drift and slide where the others go. You cannot sit down and hate your life getting all too muddled between which track to take. The road always accommodates moving people, from north to south going back and forth. Those in the middle get run over. You cannot just listen to hollow voices without hearing your own. You have to love and hate, there’s nothing in between but apathy, which is always the worst.

Most importantly, you have to stand up for what is right and what’s not. As a child, punching a friend is always branded as bad. When you grow old you have to do some necessary punching. The lines are now always blurry. Experience and love now works with pure reason. Nevertheless, you still have to stand up for what is right. You cannot just understand why and still be unable to raise your hand when asked between two options. Again, you have to stand up for something. You need something to put your name into; because if you have none, your name will be nowhere and you’re as good as non-existent.

The life you live is not about the amount of sands touching your feet but with the number of steps you are willing to take. Life is a beautiful beach but it can leave you sunburned if you’re neither careful nor wise. You cannot experience the waves if you’re just at the shore. You have to swim, or run in the sands if you must. You cannot just stare at life because it will never pause just to stare back at you.

(This is a message for myself. Bigyan nyo nga ako ng karatula at nang makapaglakad sa Mendiola hahaha. Andami kong pinaglalaban.Well,whatever, hope I'm making sense)


Until next time.

Love,
Dudi.

Why we all love writers.

It’s funny how the word writer is synonymous to the word weird, old fashioned and boring. Profiling leaves writing to the “totally-not-so-cool-stuff” box when in fact, we all admire writers in one way or another. How? Let’s take a closer inspection at our daily lives.

Let’s start the fire with songs. Remember that night you cried all rolled up listening to Taylor Swift’s song “Back to December?” You swore it was exactly how you felt in your own December period of love and loss. The words struck you and gave you a trip down memory lane. In your head is the premeditated post “Back to December is the track of my life right now.” It sure is, and behind the idea is “I love the writer for putting these words together too” Now go, check your playlist and think about how the writers made your life a little more bearable. Yeah, you’re welcome ;-)

So, did that movie you just watched made you laugh like an idiot? Sure, Adam Sandler is awesome as sh*t. (Sorry for the expletive, you simply cannot describe Adam Sandler's talent without getting a little too extreme) which part was the coolest? It’s when he said.. blah blah blah….

Okay, I think you can see where this is headed. Genius! But wait, no this is too obvious! These are the lines he dropped that created the highlight of the movie. Perhaps, this is not the case for all but for most flicks. You might even agree if I say that the best movie parts are the ones worth imitating. And all it takes is the selection and organization of the right words for the right moment. How cool writers are for making us look like an idiot, right? I mean for giving us a basket of emotions we don’t usually get on a daily basis. Most of us love seeing more of life in movies. Most of us love actors. Most of us have this subliminal love for writers.

Now let’s talk about news. In this area, we all share the same love and hate relationship with writers. We know why we love them; we surely know why we roll our eyes sometimes. But why the love and hate connection? Because news is of high importance, because our lives depended on it, because if they (writers) don’t do their job right, we are all screwed up. Good news lifts our spirits up, bad news helps us save our lives, and both grant us knowledge, both we need like we need trees in our lives.

I’d love to talk about good books, Mitch Albom, students, typeface vs fonts and a lot more related to writing but I know that you already get what I’m saying. (And I’m too lazy as always) I cannot say that I’m good at writing but I appreciate this field maybe more than other people do. It’s kind of tiring hearing people comment about writing being boring and bland. I love it, you do, too. In fact writing is one way of being immortal. Once a writer is gone his/her words continue to live. How cool we are for living through generations! Oh wait I haven’t written something worthy of being handed down yet. So let me finish this now so I can procrastinate more and eventually land back to writing again.

Till the next entry!

Love,
Dudi.

Beast

(Finally, an entry. The words just kept on crying so I had to silence it and finally I ended up creating this)

For my love. Who at times is like a beast. I know your heart.

Beast

A beast is what you are.
With a scar beneath your smile
You are selfish.
You are ruthless.
But you love with all you have.

Dry as a bone.
Cold as a stone;
Shifting from green to orange to red
You blaze into fire
And it alters what’s dire

A luscious taste of infinity-
You give me sunny days
Pure as gold
Warm as a hope
I die, I live and wish

But days are never sorry
It hurries when you’re happy
The beast in you,
The ghost in you
It feeds my fear that’s hungry

I’m one tiny shabby fairy
I am hopeful.
I am sorry.
I can kiss some pain at bay
But never take it all away.

The demon and the god
That is you,
That’s my love.
The beast that you are
Is but an Angel with a scar.
----------------------------

*Star of chaos*