Love lesson no. 1

When you experience love out of blood- bond, you also understand love beyond close bonds. This, of a thousand other beautiful things, is what I learned from loving someone.

You finally understand how love works, what love is. You‘ve known it long before you learned to match Barbie doll with Ken. You’ve always known you love your parents, your siblings; in spite of the constant banter over the pettiest of things. You know it without asking, you take it without asking. 

However, someday, one day… you will reach a point where you will choose someone out of blood bond. From one person alone you will understand how love works for different people; this is what I meant when I said you would understand love beyond close bonds. 

I experienced this one time when I was casually going over my Facebook account. I stumbled upon a post about an old college friend. Her boyfriend of almost five years just passed away. For a moment, I thought the world stopped and moving was not one of my options. I didn’t personally know the guy but I felt a different kind of sadness and for a time I thought sorrow was a better term. I felt heartbroken. Not because I loved the guy but perhaps I loved the girl and I admired their relationship. His passing mattered to me in ways perhaps I wouldn’t understand had I not been in a real relationship too. 

I started asking, what now? What will become of her? What will it be like from here? How would she survive the long nights? How will she bear being alone with her thoughts? How? How? How? The question kept pouring like a raging rain on a stormy day. I was greatly troubled because I understood how it is to love with all you are and all you have and I can only imagine the anguish and the sorrow that dried the plants in her castle of joy. I was not part of the relationship but I feel a certain connection.

It goes the same with couples who still end up being together in spite of the different forces that work against them. Sometimes, you can’t help but feel so inspired when you see them. Everyone can easily say, “Okay, let’s stop here.” and go on with their lives in search of someone better. But there are couples who surf with the waves instead of running away from them. Seeing them fills other people’s hearts with gladness as if the success were their very own. (Strong) Love does wonders like that. 

Have you experienced something like this, too? Even the songs you listened to as a child are all too different once you get bitten by a strong love bug. How you see the world is totally different. A strong love pours out from two individuals and touches things outside the plane. 

I don’t want to look at love as if it’s something magical because there’s so much more to it. But I have to admit, it truly is in so many ways, in so many beautiful ways.