Hi there, my online journal. I’m here to tell you I’m
wonderfully unhappy. I’m re-reading all my students’ letters and I feel so sad
but at the same time… loved.
Tomorrow will be the last day of my one-weak streak of
goodbyes to all my students. I don’t know why I got so attached; all we had are
but online classes. Would you believe me
if I say, they were the ones who kept me glued to my office station for two
years? I mean I love my colleagues but there’s something about leaving young
souls that can tear even a stone-cold heart apart.
The most cheerful students of mine cried before me and all I
could manage to do was smile and assure them they’re going to have a nice
teacher. I’m very worried about the kids who need to be handled with extra effort
and patience. I’m worried about the kids who might go back to being their old
non-speaking, shy and timid selves. I’m worried about one student who
challenged me to make her smile after half a year of hiding it. I’m worried for
those who have been with me since I started teaching. I’m worried about the
grannies whose words sometimes are very hard to comprehend.
I am happy to have known all of them, to have spent my time
every single day igniting fires in their heads and hearts. I will surely miss
the daily bloopers and each and every moment, the good and the bad we all had
together. It pains me to think that I had to make a decision that involves the
welfare of kids but I also have faith that they’ll be fine under the wings of
their new teachers who are also my friends. That the moment is what gives me
comfort.
I’ve been feeling really lonely lately. I mean, how do you
let go of kids? How do you move on from kids?
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